We all have bad days.
Here’s another truth. Our To-Shin Do training teaches us that no one is in charge of your mood but you. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you mad.
I know. This conflicts with the currently popular view where everyone believes they are a victim. But an even older theory states that if you can give your power away to outside circumstances, you can choose to take it back. It takes an awareness that, at every moment in life, you are 100% responsible for your own happiness. That is your power. That is your choice. And you can choose not to give your power away to technology, situations, or other people.
One great secret to not having bad days is to not take other people’s behaviors personally. Look at most people and you will see they are stumbling through life presumably doing the best they can. They are not deliberately trying to hurt your feelings, insult you, or ignore you. They are trying to win and you somehow got in their way. They are barely aware of their own perceptions.
So, when you’re having a bad day because something has gone wrong, remember there are ways to break the cycle.
- Develop the skill of awareness. When something goes bad, stop and notice how it makes you feel. Say “OK, this is the way it is. And I have the power to change that.”
- Decide to do a pattern interrupt at that point. You cannot think of two things at the same time. If you’re thinking about what a bad day you’re having, you cannot think about all the wonderful things happening in your life. It is your job to focus on the things that make you happy, make you feel better, or lead to a better world.
- Take a few moments to focus in on something that makes you feel good – petting your dog, listening to inspiring music, going outside to take in the beauty of nature, calling a friend to chat for a few minutes. Any kind of pattern interrupt is needed, where you’re not thinking of the bad day or the bad thing that just happened.
- Reframe the event. Put the event in perspective. If you think about it, in the great scheme of life and the world, in 10 years our problems will be seen as pretty insignificant.
- Mentally make a short list of what you’re grateful for. Be aware of how you can be of service to someone else.
- Ask yourself, “Where does this pattern come from? Who taught this to me?” You may be surprised that you picked up this negative belief pattern from someone in your life. Choose to change the belief pattern. Choose a different outcome for the situation. Script a different result.
- Realize that it’s your job to look for solutions in life. Stop focusing on the negative “bad” day’s events. Power in life is seeking out the solutions to the challenges you face.
And in truth, once you choose to get past the bad of the day, in the big scheme of life, you probably won’t even remember what happened that day.